Satires

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Blueblood University’s Rousing Comeback Fueled by In-Game Transfer

May, 2024

The Transfer Portal and its marriage partner NIL, blessed by godfather Conference Realignments, have made it clear so-called collegiate basketball is really all about money. This satire anticipates mercenaries transferring from one team to another at halftime of a game.

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Coach Will Shakespeare’s Post-Ugly-Big-Game-Loss Press Conference

January, 2024
 

With many major gridiron coaching vacancies and coaching press conferences becoming like political debates or reality TV, why not go to the greatest English wordsmith of all to coach a team and handle those ugly post-game encounters?

https://www.lyrapoetry.com/vonires

October, 2023

Vonires are made-up words not ashamed of their newness. “Thrumped” is the perfect new word for our perilous times.

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https://www.robotbutt.com/2023/09/06/burning-man-disaster-relief-appeal-to-our-own-kind-a-memo-to-like-minded-silicon-valley-types/

September, 2023

Burning Man Disaster Relief Appeal to Our Own Kind: A Memo to Like-Minded Silicon Valley Types.

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https://www.robotbutt.com/2023/08/15/realigning-values-after-college-sports-conference-realignments/

August, 2023

Realigning Values After College Sports Conference Realignments.

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https://www.robotbutt.com/2023/07/09/spectator-changes-mimicking-new-baseball-on-field-rules-contemporary-marketing-for-yesterdays-national-pastime/

July, 2023

Spectator Changes Mimicking New Baseball On-Field Rules: “Contemporary Marketing for Yesterday’s National Pastime.”

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https://www.robotbutt.com/2023/07/06/moe-nonardis-early-draft-paupers-bracket-projections-bet-your-life-on-the-2024-presidential-tournament/

July, 2023

Moe NoNardi’s Early “Draft Paupers” Bracket Projections: Bet Your Life on the 2024 Presidential Tournament.

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http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/202302190651/oohrah-alternative-to-other-camp-lejeune-settlement-tv-ambulance-chasers/

February, 2023

OOHRAH! Alternative to Other Camp Lejeune Settlement TV Ambulance Chasers.

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http://www.macqueensquinterly.com/MacQ17/Hogarty-Your-Name.aspx

January, 2023

Your Name Linked to a Horrific Disease? A Heavenly Support Group for Famous Scientists.

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http://glossynews.com/sports/sporting-events/202211281047/meet-the-u-s-world-cup-teams-new-method-acting-coach/

November, 2022

Meet the U.S. World Cup Team’s New METHOD Acting Coach.

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Marshal Earp Not OK with N.R.A. Promoting Tombstone Gun Violence – Glossy News Satire

October, 2022

Historically based, this realistic satire parallels the present with atrident anti-gun possession and carry sentiment from the time of the OK Corral shootout.

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Sexist Scouting Report from Your Hoops Junkie Friend: Your Favorite March Madness Cheerleader – Glossy News Satire

March, 2022

During March Madness, that one cheerleader beguiled you even as your brackets were busting. Here’s the scouting report you might see about her from that politically incorrect Hoops Junkie friend who touts her for you to ride through the Sweet Sixteen, Elite Eight, and Final Four to cut down the nets in April.

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Job Description for Three-Year Old Boys: Why an APA Committee Rejected It – Glossy News Satire

December, 2021

Adults often think they positively reinforce youngsters when they say “good job.” The psychological harm of equating positive behavior with work aside, the American Psychological Association (APA) has studied what a three-year-old boy’s job description should be. The committee charged with unveiling a final draft to standardize expectations offered the following with a disclaimer at the end.

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On The First Day of Christmas – Lyrics for Our Time: Stuff This in Your Stocking, My Rightist Love! – Glossy News Satire

December, 2021

Joyful lyrics only from a progressive perspective.

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Expose: Russia’s NFL Interception of ‘16 Election; – Glossy News Satire

August, 2021

With the NFL starting again, it’s a perfect time to look back on last year’s strange season that dealt with the original outbreak of the pandemic and a divisive political landscape. At Glossy News, we have the real story of how the election and NFL season worked in tandem to sound like a reprise of the TV Series, The Americans.

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Rolling with a Teammate’s Coming Out Revelation – Glossy News Satire

July, 2021

Bocce world teammates grapple with news that threatens the team, maybe for an unexpected reason.

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From Dr. Melfi: What Your Pandemic/ElectionYear TV-Binge-Diary Reveals About You – Glossy News Satire

June, 2021

TV series choices tell the world about your state of mind during various months of a turbulent time.

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CROSS X WORDS – Glossy News Satire

November, 2020

Puzzled by the cross words leading up to the Presidential election? Into doing crosswords while at home during Covid-19? This crossword puzzle has separate antagonistic Red and Blue State clues for the same answers.

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If Judge Amy Coney Barrett had been as Forthright as Judge Judy during Rubber-Stamped Hearing Q & A: – Glossy News Satire

October, 2020

At the Senate hearing rubber stamping the Supreme Court nomination of Amy Coney Barrett, wouldn’t it have been wonderful if Judge Barrett, like Judge Judy, answered questions with no filters? So, here is the unfiltered exchange we would have loved to have heard.

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Getting into YOUR Top Choice University in Covid-19 World – The Satirist

September, 2020

College admissions advisor memo: Getting into your top choice university in Covid-19 world. Strategies for various types of institutions form Ivy League to State Colleges.

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Confession: If Trump Were Catholic – Glossy News Satire

September, 2020

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Oh, to only imagine. And, this was before the Capitol Riot and his part in it.

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Rock the Vote: – Glossy News Satire

August, 2020

MAGA trailer group attempts to limit the vote through any means possible.

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RAP TRUMP: A HAMILTONIAN MUSICAL OF AND FOR OUR TIMES – Glossy News Satire

July, 2020

Hamilton brought history to a new generation. Rap Trump seeks the same at a time when the original has returned to the Disney Channel. Kanye West plays Donald Trump; Queen Latifah plays Nancy Pelosi; and Lin-Manuel Miranda plays what should have been a fully transparent Robert Mueller.

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Sox/Yanks Broadcasting Booth Base Brawl: MLB’s Return on Fox – Glossy News Satire

July, 2020

Fox baseball broadcast pits two talking head/ shock jocks, one from the Bronx, the other from Boston, who literally battle it out in the booth while stealing the spotlight from a climatic Red Sox / Yankee last inning.

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Prophetic Bible School Civics Test: A Civics Final Exam Response from the Year 2000 – Glossy News Satire

July, 2020

Earnest student essayist, in response to a stilted right-wing prompt in a 2000 Civics test, ends her essay with an unwitting prophecy: “Still, I can’t imagine living in an America that is a 3rd World Banana Republic. That would TRUMP all visions of hell.

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“Age of Nefarious” from the Boomer Musical “Hair”: New Lyrics for Covid-19’s Target Group: – Glossy News Satire

July, 2020

Sample lyrics from one of four songs: As Boomers greet a seventh span,/
The notion strikes woman and man:/ With Covid-19 lurking to bury us,/
The wheel’s turned from Aquarius./ This is the dawning of the Age of Nefarious,/ The Age of Nefarious.

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Essential Cruise Universe: Cruising Toward the Future” – Glossy News Satire

June, 2020

When it looked during the first outbreaks of Covid as if cruise ships would never sail again, this satire played with innovative possibilities for the cruise lines.

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After the Postponement: Speaking for the Graduating Class of 2020 • The Showbear Family Circus (lanceschaubert.org)

May, 2020

Grad speech captures the angst of the time with the main metaphor about building walls.